The only thing high-definition television will do is provide sharper pictures of the garbage.

Have you ever noticed how sometimes all day Wednesday, you keep thinking it’s Thursday? Then, the next day, when you’re back to normal, you wonder why you don’t think it’s Friday?

Another Carlin quote from my desk calendar:

The trouble with sitcoms is that every week it’s the same group of irritating people.

Today’s quote from my George Carlin desk calendar:

Don’t you hate it when a rock bank comes on stage and apparently the drummer has decided that somehow it’s cool to wear a funny hat?